gorgeousdarren: when you forget capslock is on and google something really aggressively by accident
rapewhistled: animals are our friends.dont mistreat them they are even more confused about existence than we are.they trust u.
teacher: why are you late?
me: why are you so obsessed with me
You: "Everybody shut up." *picks up phone* "Hey mum."
Friend2: "come back to bed"
Friend3: *various sex noises*
Friend4: "tell her I said hi"
Friend5: "Aye! Pass The Weed."
Friend 6: *blasting out curse words*
Friend 7: "PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON"
Friend 8: Is that a cigarette!?
COSMO SEX TIP #8329
arekelly: Instead of moaning during climax say “Flash 9 required for audio”.
Dad: When I was your age, I used to go out on a Friday and not come back until Sunday
Me: Can I go out?